What's in Your Wagon?

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Last summer, I was helping coach my 10-year-old daughter’s softball team near our home in the northwest Chicago suburbs. I watched the head coach’s daughter trudge to the field with her dad about 15 minutes late for warm-ups for our noon game.

I gently nudged her and said, "Tired, Stephanie? Don't worry—you'll be fine once we get going."

She looked at me and said, "Yeah, I know, but I ran a 5k this morning."

Her comment caught me off guard. I responded with, "OK… wow. That is a lot… Well, let's play a little catch. You'll be good once the game starts."

In the third inning, her dad pulled me aside and said, "Hey Ray, we will see how things go, but Stephanie and I might have to leave early. You are OK taking over, right? My son has a hockey game in northwest Indiana, and if we don't leave here by 130, I don't think we'll make it with the traffic."

I said, "Yes, no problem. Busy day, huh?"

He paused and said, "The worst part is that we have to hustle back to Schaumburg after my son's game because Stephanie has an 8 o'clock basketball game tonight."

I thought my head was going to explode.

I wish this episode was an exception, but I keep hearing stories like this as my kids get older and their sports/activities require more time and commitment.

Three Stones

During a recent sermon about exhaustion, our pastor taught us a parable I had never heard before.

In the story, God asked this man, "Would you put three stones in a wagon and do me a favor and take them up to the top of that big hill?"

So, the man started up the hill, doing exactly what God had asked.

On his way, the man bumped into someone who said, "Hey, I see you are going up the hill. I need to get a stone up there—can I put my stone in your wagon?" The man said, "Sure, no problem. I got it. Throw it in my wagon."

And then the man encountered another who said, "You look hot and tired like you could use a cold glass of lemonade. You want some?"

The man said thanks and chugged the drink. The lemonade giver asked, "By the way, would you mind taking a few stones up the hill for me?"

The man felt he owed him for the lemonade, so he nodded and reluctantly loaded more stones into his wagon.

Similar exchanges happened several more times until the man's wagon was filled with stones. The man began to tire and struggle, finally to exhaustion, as he collapsed on the side of the hill.

The man looked up at the sky and yelled at God, "I can't believe you're asking me to do all this! It's too much!"

You see the point, right? The Lord reached down and started picking up the stones, examining them one at a time. God said, "No, I don't remember giving you this one," as he mercifully removed it from the wagon. Eventually, the wagon's contents returned to the original three stones God had given the man. 

Pointing at the wagon, God said, "This is all I asked of you. The rest was you."

Three D's to Manage Our Wagons

How do we keep our wagons in check? I offer the following keys.

Divine

Does this stone bring me closer to God and Jesus? Will we still be able to attend church every weekend as a family? Will I have enough time and strength to pray every night? To read the Bible and my devotionals every morning? 

After my wife’s death ten years ago, I thought I was finally focusing on God. But over time, I continue to realize how far I need to go.

As I headed into 2024, I was excited about a new baseball book I received for Christmas. During the time off from work, I brainstormed about organizing a stoicism/philosophy class for my kids' homeschooling co-op. I also had renewed enthusiasm for a writing project I had started two years ago.

But in mid-January, I read a terrific newsletter that challenged the priority of my resolutions and confronted me about my commitment to pursuing God and His kingdom. This wake-up call led me back to Tim Keller's "Questioning Christianity" podcasts and to reserve time to watch the weekly videos from the Bible Project.

I haven't forgotten about the new book or the creative ideas brewing. But I am grateful that I re-centered my priorities on the divine, knowing that it won't be the last time I will need to make such an adjustment.

Discernment and Discipline

These decisions aren't always easy.

I work to surround myself with positive people who share similar values. I am lucky to be around many terrific parents who want the best for their kids. However, these people tend to have the most problems taking on too many stones in their wagons.

As Corrie ten Boom said, "If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." Like the family at the start of this article, a lot of moms and dads are involved in way too much. These parents not only sign their kids up to too many teams, but they also volunteer to coach or organize. Youth sports are out of control, but it is not isolated to that. Even church activities can become a burden if not managed correctly.

I see moms and dads with a bucket list of family traditions who insist their children partake in all the same experiences they had growing up. It is important to pass down this heritage, but one has to be realistic. We live in different times; some live far from our childhood homes. As always, there are pros and cons.

I have made peace that my kids won't walk beans, bale hay, or work with livestock as I did while growing up on a farm. It is difficult to pull this off in the suburbs of Chicago. But I can teach them the same critical lessons I took from farming if I creatively look for opportunities.

The two things that trip people up are discernment and discipline. Some people don't pause to think about the impact of their decisions before saying "yes" to another stone in their wagon. Others talk as if they know the right thing to do and appear to realize the importance of simplifying their lives but don't have the will to follow through with it.

We will likely miss some of the best moments if we don't figure this out. We won't have the time or energy to play catch in the backyard, shoot baskets in the driveway, eat relaxing family dinners, or have the buffer to enjoy the unplanned days we remember most.

I pray that we all look inside our wagons and make tough but necessary decisions for us and our families.

Let’s remove some excess stones to lighten our loads and give ourselves the rest that God wants for us.

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