Jesus Calling: A Gateway to a Life of Faith
I grew up in a small-town, midwestern Methodist church where both sides of my family were all members. Mom took us to Sunday school and church, and she taught Sunday school there for many years. As a teenager, I led the responsive readings in church, but I was more focused on doing a good job reading than letting Scripture sink in. I believed in God and Jesus, but it was not a close relationship.
As the years passed, my mindset was that I tried to do the right things and be a good person. I said quick prayers at night, but that practice was inconsistent. I did not make room for God and Jesus in my heart, mostly because I believed I could work hard to accomplish anything I wanted. I mainly prayed that no big problems hit my family or me because I had everything under control – “God, I got this.”
I have never been cocky, but I have always felt pride in my self-sufficiency, toughness, and ability to work hard and push through things. But my wife’s cancer/death humbled me to the core.
That summer started on a tremendous high, with my wife Kristy giving birth to our son Eric near the end of May. He joined our little daughter Elizabeth who had just had her second birthday. We envisioned a time for relaxing and enjoying our young kids, going for walks around our peaceful neighborhood. However, those dreams quickly changed when Kristy was diagnosed with cancer on June 11th – less than two weeks after Eric was born.
I immediately took on the bulk of the duties with Eric and Elizabeth and flipped into urgent problem-solving mode. I read books on ovarian cancer, sought out second opinions, and thought I could impose my will on the situation and beat it. But, no matter what I did, I felt God tapping me on the shoulder, telling me, “Sorry, kid – you’re not in control this time.”
My extraordinary wife Kristy passed away that October at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
When we arrived back in Chicago, I needed to make funeral arrangements immediately. I walked over to the Methodist church right around the corner from our condo. I introduced myself to the minister, as we had only been to church a handful of times over the past several years. He made it easy for me, welcoming me into his office. He sat back and listened to my story, blown away by all our family had gone through in the past four months.
The minister picked up on the fact that I loved to read and handed me a book called Jesus Calling. He said he read this daily devotional with his wife at the start of each day to help center themselves. The author’s name struck me immediately. It was the same name as the college student who had done a terrific job babysitting for us during that turbulent summer. It was as if God was hitting me over the head with the book, saying, “Hey buddy, you need to read this!”
Jesus Calling is written as if Jesus is directly speaking to you, followed by several related Bible verses. The minister’s gift gave me a way into the Bible, allowing me to experience God and Jesus more personally than ever before. I followed the minister’s example, reading from it every morning. It was a constant reminder of God’s presence as our family went forward in uncertain times. The book served as an essential base as I continued to seek out God in my life.
I began praying consistently. I started going to church every Sunday. My reading focus changed to spiritual and philosophical audiobooks that I listened to while running on my treadmill in the morning. I sought out movies with deep messages about life. I even learned about meditation and built up a daily practice. Even though I have changed churches twice since then, Jesus Calling is there for me every day.
There are rough days, but the daily readings keep me on the right path and never let me drift too far off course. The book addresses my immediate need on many mornings like it was written specifically for me. When I start feeling sorry for myself, I’m not surprised anymore when the next entry talks about being thankful for our problems because our troubles help us realize our dependence on God.
Although years have passed since we lost Kristy, I continue to make breakthroughs in my faith. This past year is the first time I have had the presence of mind to ask for God and Jesus’ help during my day. When I prepare to start an important meeting with a customer, I am getting better about taking a moment to jot down a note on my legal pad – “God, please help us during this call.”
A couple months ago, our company was performing a large overnight computer network upgrade that affected hundreds of customers. The clock hit 330 am, and our team was still working through an issue. Our maintenance window was set to close at 400 am. We had to figure this out fast or roll back and reschedule the upgrade for another overnight which none of us wanted.
I was at home and not at the data center with the team. I felt like I was in the dark, frustrated by the situation. I wanted to call and get an update, but I also didn’t want to disrupt them. I could feel myself getting worked up. Instead, I paused to say a short prayer.
Twenty minutes later, at 350 am, we still had not resolved the problem. I was on the phone with a senior team member, preparing to revert out of the upgrade. As I was hanging up, I hit the refresh button on my web browser, and the site finally popped up successfully on my screen! My colleague and I laughed in relief about our team figuring things out in the nick of time. I was happy that I had reached out in prayer like that.
But, as recently as last week, I sat down at night to read the kid’s version of Jesus Calling with my daughter at bedtime. I was still upset about a big problem at work earlier in the day. That day’s entry talked about reaching out to God/Jesus for help when you have a problem. As I read the words to her, I realized that I had not thought about God/Jesus while dealing with that work issue.
The kid’s version is based on the adult book – I had read this same reminder that morning and still had forgotten to do it! I admitted my miss to my daughter, telling her I couldn’t believe I had done that. And that is why we need to read these reminders every day (sometimes twice).
While I still have a long way to go on my faith journey, I am thankful for Jesus Calling for helping me get started on this path.
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